23.2.15

Making time for yourself




The above statement is something I have struggled with since becoming a mum. Finding the balance of taking care of myself and my children is something I have battled with. I, like a lot of women, feel guilty for taking time for myself or spending money on myself. I always think that its time I could be spending with my children or money that could go towards, new clothes or shoes for them, a family day out or a new toy for them. Even if its something essential and vital that I need, I still feel guilty for spending the money on myself. Most of things I enjoyed before becoming a mum I gave up, because I thought that's what a good mum did. Good mums stay at home all the time with there children. Good mums spend all there money on there children and they just make do. Good mums give up there social life unless its a play date. But the truth is that's not true at all.


Part of being a good mum is taking care of yourself. Spending a little money on yourself, or taking the time to meet a friend on your own for a coffee, or go to a fitness class doesn't make you a "bad mum" in fact I think it makes you a better one! Taking that time to recharge and relax changes your mood and makes you feel better. The saying is true "how can you love another if you cant even love yourself"?! For a while after having Elise I struggled with this guilt and especially after I went back to work part time, I felt so much guilt having to leave her to go to work that I didn't think I should do anything else.


I developed GAD, generalised anxiety disorder when she was 17 months old due to a lot of  different reasons. I shut myself away from everyone and very few people knew what I was going through. I was signed off work as I couldn't even leave my home when I was at my worst. It took a few months until I started to feel better and I felt like I wanted to do something for myself. But once I did start to take the odd yoga class and go out for a drink with friends, everything about me changed. I became more confident, relaxed and happier. The time I had with Elise was more enjoyable and felt like we had really good quality time and I appreciated every second of it, more than I did when I was at home everyday doing the same thing day in and day out.


Of course life happens and things change, and an unexpected move and a pregnancy caused my anxiety to flare up again and more feelings of guilt started to surface. How would I manage with two children and divide my time? Since I've had Charlie I have again struggled with this balance. But I remember how much better I felt when I did take a little time for myself and so I have made a promise to myself to start making some "me time". I now know that it doesn't make me a bad mum for doing this, its actually a really important part of motherhood. After all, how can we look after our children if we are not looking after ourselves. Remember you were a person before you had children so don't loose who you were. I am making an effort to remember this and put it into practice. It was one of the reasons I started writing my blog, something for me to do and take some time out. I hope to be able to write in the next few months how taking some time for "me" has made me a better person and mummy.

I hope this has been helpful to any other mums or mums to be out there.

Thanks for reading

Tasha xxx

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